So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
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