My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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