Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
Randomize
