Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
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