Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
