Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
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