cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
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