the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
