it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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