i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
Randomize
