Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
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