shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
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