It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Randomize
