So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Randomize
