i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
Randomize
