How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
Randomize
