why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
Randomize