I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
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