After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
4 words: hood of his car
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
Randomize
