So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
Randomize
