I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
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