This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
