Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
