I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
