I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
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