my text book just quoted the cookie monster
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
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