no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
Randomize
