She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
