Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
only if we run a train.
done.
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
