Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
That was before I lit my hair on fire
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