also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
Randomize
