I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
Randomize
