Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
Randomize
