remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
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