That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
I want to fling myself into the sun
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Randomize
