those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
