: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
I don't think brook has ever known best
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
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