And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
Randomize
