Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Randomize
