Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
Randomize
