there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
Randomize
