I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
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