when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
Randomize
