I'm gonna have a badass scar
i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
Randomize
