You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
