I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
Randomize
