saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
Where is the hickey?
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
Randomize
