We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
Randomize
