I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
I have fence marks all over my body
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
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