I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
Randomize
