PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
Randomize
