the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
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