Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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