So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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