I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
you didnt know i had herpes?
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
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