oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
Randomize
