Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
