what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
Randomize
