there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
I forgot how hot balto sounded
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
