So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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